Life is Hard

I've been struggling with life in general lately. I've stopped attending church regularly, I've stoppped going to Institute, I haven't been reading my scriptures or praying, and I just haven't been happy with myself for awhile. But I have been writing a missionary who is friends with two of my roommates. In the last letter  i got from him, he shared his testimony with me and how his mission has changed him. Which made me realize that I wanted to change. I wanted to feel the spirit again. I wanted to be able to serve a mission, if it's the right thing. I want to be happy with myself again. I want to change. I want to have the light of the gospel again, so I can spread the good in me to others.

"You are good. But it is not enough just to be good. You must be good to the world. The world must be a better place for your presence. And the good that is in you must be spread to others." ~Gordon B. Hinckley

Livin' the College Life.

I absolutely love Snow College! I wasn't sure at first, but now I'm positive that this is the place I'm supposed to be. And it doesn't hurt that I've made some pretty great friends already too. ;)

My lovley roommate Morgan.

Most of the Roomies

We have fun :)

Food for the Thought

So I know its been a couple months since I last posted. I am very determined to do better from now on. Since I don't have much to say right now I'll just leave you with some food for the thought. :)

"It's about how you're like a lighthouse, always searching far into the distance. But the thing you're looking for is usually close to you and always has been. That's why you have to look within yourself to find answers instead of searching beyond." ~Susane Colasanti

And I like this one too :)

"Passion is passion. It's the excitement between the tedious spaces, and it doesn't matter where it's directed...It can be coins or sports or politics or horses or music or faith...the saddest people I've ever met in life are the ones who don't care deeply about anything at all." ~Nicholas Sparks

Into the Woods

It's a dangerous endeavor, but the only thing to do. Though it's fearful. Though it's deep, though it's dark. And though you may lose your path. Though you may encounter wolves. You mustn't stop, you mustn't swerve. You mustn't ponder, you have to act. When you know your wish. If you want your wish. You can have your wish. No, to get your wish. You go into the woods where nothing's clear. Where witches, ghosts and wolves appear. Into the woods and through the fear. You have to take the journey. Into the woods and down the dell. In vain, perhaps, but who can tell? ~Into the Woods

Into the woods is one of my favorite musicals ever! I love the message it teaches. As I'm getting ready to head off to college, I had a realization. (hence the lyrics, they have a purpose I promise!) Honestly, I don't think I am ready to move out and be independant. Sure it's an exciting time, but the longest away I have been from home. Without my family, has been a week. I'm not used to paying my own expenses, not used to cooking for myself, or even doing my own laundry. It's going to be different. But different is good, I would much rather deal with this now than when I get married. Even though I don't feel ready for it, I'm heading into the woods to take the journey. It'll be good for me. I know  for a fact that, I couldn't do it without my best friends or the awesome roommates I feel so close to already. Thanks for your support, I really appreciate it! 

It wont always be easy...

Ever since I have started working, I have no other life. My social life is gone. I hear about all the fun things my friends are doing together, wishing I could join in on the fun. Wishing they would at least just take a moment to invite me, even if I couldn't come. Just so I know that they care. But at the same time, it's better this way. Better for me to move on, to get away from the high school drama and such that they still have to deal with for another year or two. It's a big step to move on, but it will be good for me. I'll have to be Independant, learn to not care what others think, and start a life of my own. .....It won't always be easy, but it will be worth it.

Starting Fresh

I was horrible about posting on my other blog. And to be honest, it didn't quite fit me. At all. So here I am starting fresh. I aleady like this blog better. :)